its been 43hours since i last slept and i think im still counting. whenever night comes, i feel all the sorrowness flowing through my body. i duno why. i think coz its night time and its peaceful enough to think bout things calmly. i always felt like calling her but those were times that she was asleep. i really hope to talk to her and to see her. i couldnt really call her in the day coz she would be busy or coz the blood circulation rushes which cause us not to think calmly.
this is the longest time i went without a sleep. its awful. a billion of unsaid words going back and forth in my brain. its a miserable feeling. i hope that we could resolve our problems ourselves rather than just running away from it. i hope you could give me some time to accept the break up. i can be certain that if i go back to UK in this form, i would nvr ever be able to succeed.
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it's good to be sad . i mean , it's normal .
what i always do is to delude myself cos it's the quick way out . so phrases like 'yea yea whatever' , 'it's not like i care' , 'no big deal' always come drifting in my head . plus , a lot of suppressed feelings being accumulated . then i'd supposedly stop being despondent n miserable , but things do not work out that way .
u know , i think u're doing a pretty good job at this . grieving and typing all these sad posts . because if i were in ur place , i wouldn't have the guts to do what u did . i'd just walk away and pretend nth happened . pretend that i m happy . pretend that i m fine . pretend pretend pretend .
and if i were to see that happening to u , it will really freak me out . because humans have feelings and we should never conceal them .
or u'd just ... explode . haha .
be better lah kc . i mean ... think on the bright side . u still have me ! i will always have ur back !! (: *shameless shameless*
now i know how u due with your problems... my god why cant i just do like u. save me from all the emo moments.
haha dont lose your sher minness. its healthy lo. and do not lose your shamelessness too. haha. tyty
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